The most commonly recognized are pragmatic marriages, where the bride and groom have no choice in the selection of a prospective partner. The children of the parents have no say in who becomes their new partner. The eldest in many families end up making the final decision. This has been current tradition in international cultures for years and years. They do this often to preserve the history and respect for the family. This way no one can come in and change what’s common to them and make them adapt to a brand new way of living.
This however has not been a big fan of people who criticize the way arranged marriages are not fair for the individuals who go through the process. They say the countries only have a low divorce rate due to its strict policy on it than the actual marriage its self (Robinson) Arranged marriages have said to be a smarter and wiser decision for its young couples. The elders above them say their wisdom selects a more compatible partner than the child would them self. This has been a long disputed battle that has pros and cons to its methods.
Pros of Arranged Marriages
When someone is put into an arranged marriage it’s more to satisfy the families more so than the people getting married. Even though the couples might not always like each other like that, it’s still a benefit of whose family you’re getting married into. You can be one of the less rich in the country but all that can change if you’re arranged to be partnered with a person from a slightly wealthier family who have more money.
The person getting married is taking a sacrifice in way to be with this random person for marriage but it’s for the greater good of the whole family. It’s not always known but when the family arranges the marriage of who’s in it, they also decide when they should get married in life. This can be in school, when they reach a certain age, or whatever they think best fits when to
marry them (Phillips). An advantage that arranged marriages hold over non arranged marriages is the same lifestyles that both individuals have.
This creates a similarities and experiences that both can relate to. They don’t have to find what makes them compatible and alike as in common marriages in the United States. We have different kinds of people from a lot cultures and lifestyles around that no one truly has the same style or personality. Usually when these people in countries overseas get married they are a little bit younger than the average person is when they get married in non arranged marriages. This is a big reason why the leadership that the parents and elders bring is helpful to picking out a husband or wife. They want to bring into their family the best candidate that fits their daughter and son and the family in general. In a typical situation where two people who are married and can’t support themselves they have both the parents and the parent in laws to pick up the slack for them.
They usually live with them in the same house but even if they don’t they’re still usually close like in the same neighborhood at lease. This comes as huge benefit to the families as help in raising the kids or anything they ask for will or can be provided. Arrange marriages tend to work most the time since both side of the families put in to make everything work. According to studies the divorce rate in the Untied States and Canada are forty and fifty percent, while in arranged marriages its four (Harland) The child of the families are able to focus on their life and goals since their parents do the work searching for another partner(Harland)
Cons of Arranged Marriages
The worst thing you could have happen to you is having to spend your life with someone you had no say in picking out. If you end up likening that person all is well but the risk of you not is also a factor. You can’t however decide you don’t want to marry that person that is picked for you because it shows disrespect to the family’s decision to bring you two together for marriage. The relationships in arranged marriages are based a lot on that person’s social and financial status rather then the love and connection you see in non arranged marriages. It doesn’t matter if those two people have no connection what so ever and don’t see themselves spending the rest of their lives with the opposite.
It’s whoever best fits the valuesthat either person can offer from their respective families. Most of the time the parent can also be criticized for making a bad choice about who their child married depending on how well the marriage goes over the years. The major disadvantage to an arranged marriage is that the choice of which someone spends their life with isn’t up to them. Couples in arranged marriages may have to work past differences in personality.
There is also no guarantee that both families will continue to get along over the course of the marriage, even if they offer full support at the beginning of the relationship. Cultures who primarily use the method don’t really believe the meaning of love like the typical person would in the United States. The trust in ones social background and financial status is more important to consider. The couples may experience love at times but say it will diminish soon after. Arranged marriages also get complicated when there is trouble with the extended family. There are a lot of says and opinions when you have both families at a disagreement about something, unlike for a regular marriage whose disputes are most of the time settled by them only. In arranged marriages the couple getting married has never met each other. They may have the same views and backgrounds but these are two people who never seen each other most likely and now are getting married. This can cause opposition with various situations leading to the other not to accept the marriage and how it work out. You have no clue what to expect from a marriage with a complete stranger. You give up all the key traits needed to be known that usually make up all the reasons someone would decide to marry.
This is why usually a arranged marriage the couples are not completely compatible with one another because of the differences they may have before hand. Either way they couldn’t decline the decision to marry them because of it being the parent’s decision. The couples in arranged marriages will never share the same type of love a non arranged marriage couple. They simply won’t have anything to build off of and never develop their relationship (Phillips). Since you don’t know this person you marring, the risk you take by now being stuck with whatever secret that person may be hiding is scary. It can be from being a too controlling and rough or various daily activities that make them a un normal person to get along with (Phillips). Arranged Marriages are also known to be very difficult when they get divorce.
The consequences range from spiritual punishment, to harassment and negative
results(Phillips) So whenever a person is involved in a arranged marriage they lose there will to say anything ever again almost in any situation. All the pressure is up to the parents and families since it was their decision to plan the whole thing and who their daughter or son married. This is has been the norm for hundreds of years in a lot of countries and will continue to be. Not some people will agree with the methods but that’s their opinion and will not change the people who practice it. They will not break their tradition.